Every hockey season has a number of special days, but one of the very best moments from any season is the day the Vancouver Canucks play their final hockey game.
Most years it comes at the end of the regular season, when the playoffs are just an unrealized dream for Satan's team. This year, we had to wait a couple extra weeks, until last night, when the Chicago Blackhawks eliminated the Casucks with a 7-5 win.
It was especially sweet to watch the handshake line, knowing that it's probably the last time we ever have to watch the Sedin Sisters perform for this team. Both free agents, we can hope they will take their toe picks and triple axels to some Eastern Conference team - maybe Toronto - and we'll never have to see them again.
So, beware, golf courses of British Columbia and the Pacific Northwest: Starting tomorrow, your tee time sheets will be filling up with foursomes of toothless, brainless, soulless knuckle-draggers who have no idea how to function in decent society. And their fans. With any luck, the RCMP will incarcerate most of them before training camp opens in September.
Enjoy the summer, schmucks.